As I was writing my new book, there were days when I wondered what the heck am I doing? Is it all worth it? Is this self-serving? Why go through the agony and potential embarrassment of putting myself out into the world? I went through a similar process in my early blogging phase when I was so obsessed with readership and comments that I nearly went apoplectic with the highs and lows of others responses. Ultimately, I decided to turn off my stat counters and return to the core of why I was writing.
Both with the book and the blog, my mantra for moving forward was often: If this impacts even one person for good, then it is all worth it. Many days I broke it down so small that I was the one person to be impacted... With the blog there were dry periods when writing was slow and other times when it seemed too raw and private to print. Nevertheless, I kept plodding away. In recent months as I've pondered my online presence, I've considered whether or not to combine my "diamonds:" this one ("in the sky") and "diamonds in the soul" where I play for pay. Critics and marketing gurus say we should have a brand or a look that people associate with us. Their wisdom might also pose that having a blog still operating with a "blogspot" address (i.e. not customized) is the kiss of death. Again, I ask: Why am I writing and who is it for? Bottom line - I write to discover what I know, and this forum has been the place where I continue growing in my knowing. "lucy" gave me back my voice and allowed me space to ponder to my heart's content without the pressure of "being professional" or following a neatly designed brand. That is one reason why lucy is staying right here.
The 2nd reason circles back to my original statement: Never underestimate your power to change the world. This morning, a longtime reader (and sometime commenter) revealed to me that this blog had been a catalyst in moving him toward a life-changing experience. This blog. Right here, folks. My girl, lucy. I am amazed, inspired and grateful for that revelation. It helped me remember that no act (or blog) is too small (or uncool) to manifest goodness. My goal continues to be toward my own personal growth and discovery... and if it happens to catch someone else in the process, Wow!... that's something to celebrate! I am abundantly grateful he shared. I am wildly delighted to be here. I am enchanted with this Universe that brings together random people and shifts small acts of authenticity toward magnificent goodness.
Today: How will you be the change you wish to see in the world? Perhaps one small act at a time? What if you believed that everything is connected and nothing is wasted? I do.
photos ©h3images.com (ruby beach, 12/30/11)